I thought I didn't want to let this space become a place where I complain about my life, but I just don't know how to process all of this. I thought, when we got married, the "I'll always love you, no matter what" part would get us through anything, and I guess it has, and it will, but it isn't making it easier. There is no one I can talk to about all of the stress that we, our little family unit, is under right now, and I should be worried about who will see this and what I'll do if the wrong people see it and take it badly, but...
FFFUUU...!!!
No, that didn't really help.
And the Rage Thread, by the way, is a meme I wouldn't know anything about if my hip, just-graduated-from-high-school nephew didn't reference it on Facebook all the time. Tip o' the hat to ya, Penguin Man.
What was I talking about again? Oh, yeah. At the exact moment that the pressure exerted on my wife in her professional life is increasing, for a variety of reasons, and the staff that she has available to her to help her deal with that pressure is decreasing, for a variety of reasons, the demands placed upon her by her extended family are also increasing. She is the go-to chick when it comes to getting problems solved, only this time, the problems are starting to look pretty damn near unsolvable. Yet solve them she must, while navigating the minefield of family history and catering to the particular needs and sensitivities of each individual party, and especially one particularly needy and sensitive party, all while still working 12 hours a day and not letting her son, or her husband, feel the burden of her stress or her absence.
And I'm supposed to help her. What I want to do to help her is to unleash the venom of 18 years of suppressed anger on certain parties, and especially one party in particular, but I know that it wouldn't really help, and I know that Aerie would definitely not appreciate it, so I keep on suppressing it. Come to think of it, she probably isn't going to appreciate this post, either, but...
FFFUUU...!!!
She's had enough. More than enough. And I've had enough. And more keeps coming, with no end in sight.
5 comments:
I'm sorry. Families.. ugh. Any way Aerie can just 'withdraw' from the drama? Stop being the mediator? (If that is what she is being?)Sometimes it helps to put one's foot down and say "enough." Too much drama. Yes, they'll try and guilt trip her, but, tough. Sounds like she, you and Thumper have had enough.
Ah, it sounds nice, but no, no withdrawing. The consequences of not helping are too dire. It's not so much mediation as actual crisis resolution. Some days it seems like the universe is piling on, and some days, like today, things don't seem that far off from maybe pretty OK after all. We're on a real roller coaster over here.
Admittedly not the ideal option, but you can always call and dump on your bro'.
Or I'll call you. Too late tonight, but I'll call you tomorrow.
Time we shared a couple of beers..it's been a long summer, huh?
OK, you could be the next Diablo Cody and write a wicked, kick-ass screen play. Seriously. You have the writing skills; now it sounds like you have the fodder. I say go for it!
Also, sorry. That sucks. :(
I keep thinking about a novel. I don't know about screenplay. I guess I'll have to check out this Diablo Cody now. Thanks for the "kick ass" compliment!
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