Embryo

I saw this on Living in a Girl's World, and it sounded like fun:

1. Put your MP3/Ipod player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer (questions below)
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS (option to put the name of artist in brackets next to it)
4. Tag at least 10 friends who might enjoy doing the game as well as the person you got the note from.


WHAT’S THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
“A Pillow of Winds” - Pink Floyd, Meddle [I could think of a few things better, like a pillow of boobs, and I didn't even have to think that hard...]

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
“It's Not Right (Simmons and Christopher Dub Mix)” - Dennis Christopher, Tekno 42

WHAT WILL OPRAH’S NEXT SHOW BE CALLED?
“Deception” - Blackalicious, Nia [I could see that...]

WHAT WILL OBAMA’S FIRST EXECUTIVE ORDER BE?
“Here It Comes” - Doves, Lost Souls ["Yeah, baby! Here it comes! It's that transparency in government stuff I've been talking about!"]

IF SOMEONE SAYS “FUCK YOU!” YOU SAY:
“Pig” - Seether, Disclaimer [appropriate enough]

IF YOU COULD SAY ONE THING TO THE PERSON YOU LOVE, IT WOULD BE?
“Might” - Modest Mouse, This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About ["I might, and you might, but neither of us do, and neither of us will." That ain't very romantic...]

IF YOU COULD SAY ONE THING TO THE PERSON YOU HATE IT WOULD BE?
“This Is the Day” - The The [You know, it really pisses me off that I think of M&M's whenever I hear this now...]

WHAT WOULD YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY BE CALLED?
"The Shining (Minotaur Shock Mix)” - Badly Drawn Boy, Paul Oakenfold's Perfecto Chills Vol. 3 [Redrum! Redrum!]

WHAT IS LOVE?
“Detroit Rock City” - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, 20th Century Masters, The Mille [Well that just doesn't make any sense at all...]

WHAT IS HATE?
“It's Raining Men” - The Weather Girls [I'm not gay. I promise. At least, I'm pretty sure.]

WHAT IS YOUR BEST TRAIT?
“Quiet Houses” - Fleet Foxes, Fleet Foxes

WHAT IS YOUR WORST TRAIT?
“Jingle Bells” - Frank Sinatra

WHERE WILL YOU BE IN FIVE YEARS TIME?
“A Higher Place” - Royksopp, Melody AM [Oh crap, I'm going to be dead in five years...]

HOW DO YOUR FRIENDS DESCRIBE YOU?
“Supreme People” - Blackalicious, The Craft [Well, I seriously doubt anybody's calling me "supreme."]

WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR YOU?
“Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast” - Pink Floyd, Atom Heart Mother [Sounds good. I wonder if Alan's got a diner in town...]

WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
“1985” - Bowling for Soup [You know, I could almost see him shaking his ass on the hood of Whitesnake's car...]

WHAT DO YOU WISH YOUR LOVER WOULD WHISPER IN YOUR EAR?
“Notorious” - Duran Duran [No, no, no... This was supposed to come out "Gigantic" by the Pixies...]

WHAT WILL SAVE THE WORLD?
“Nives Remix” - Orlanda, Karma Lounge [Karma, baby!]

WHAT IS SEXY?
“Lesson 13” - Pimsleur, Spanish 01 [Actually, it ain't that sexy. Though I think Carlos might be hitting on Maria. I'm not sure; I don't really understand Spanish. I never made it past Lesson 2...]

WHAT IS FUNNY?
“The Salmon Dance” - The Chemical Brothers, We Are the Night [Actually, this is pretty funny...]

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST STRENGTH?
“Situation” - Rancid, Rancid

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST WEAKNESS?
“Down to Earth” - Jem, Down to Earth

WHAT DO YOU DREAM ABOUT?
“Mainstream” - OutKast, ATLiens [Maybe I've had dreams like this. I don't know. I can't understand anything they're saying, but I do love it so...]

WHAT GIVES YOU NIGHTMARES?
“Lizard (Paul Oakenfold 2004 Remix)” - Mauro Picotto, Paul Oakenfold's Creamfields [I ain't scared of no lizards...]

WILL YOU EVER FIND ‘THE ONE’?
“Cowboy Coffee” - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, More Noise & Other Disturbances [If Cowboy Coffee is cheaper than Starbucks Coffee, then maybe it is the one...]

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?
“Thank You” - Michael Franti & Spearhead, Stay Human [Actually, "Rock the Nation" makes me happier...]

WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?
“The Death and Resurrection Show” - Killing Joke, Killing Joke [I never heard of Killing Joke. How the hell did this get on my iPod?]

WHAT’S THE STUPIDEST THING IN THE WORLD?
“Ballroom Blitz” - The Misfits [that "All right, fellas, let's go!" thing IS kinda stupid...]

WHAT DO PEOPLE LOVE ABOUT YOU?
“Woo Hah” - Busta Rhymes ["Throw your hands up in the air; don't ever disrespect. I got you all in check."]

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
“Embryo” - Pink Floyd, Works [Well, OK, but my mother might think at first glance that Aerie's pregnant...]

Ah, January 1st

Thumper thought he'd start the new year by getting all of those firsts behind him. He peed. He pooped. He puked. He was awake at 7:00, playing patty-cake with his feet and soaked through the sheets, despite the 2 hemp liners in his diaper. After a satisfying breakfast of Kix, milk, banana and CODGE CHEEZ, we played quietly in the front room with his awesome wooden train from GUMMAS and GUMPA so as not to disturb DEDDY, who was still taking a NAP. Then, Thumper grew still, his face serious. POOP! he announced and proceeded to take care of business. Afterwards, when I suggested we go change his diaper, he countered with the recommendation that we watch POP POP and tried to saddle himself up on the computer chair. Doing so must have put a bit too much pressure on his tummy and out came the milk and CODGE CHEEZ, through both the mouth and the nose, of course. No matter, though. We cleaned it all up and did the laundry. If you have a small one and don't own a battery powered BOOGIE sucker, I highly recommend getting one.

This year, I resolve to floss more. We'll see how that goes. Resolutions? Let's face it. It doesn't matter what day of the year it is. If you make a promise to change when you're not ready to change, it ain't gonna happen. How many years did I resolve to lose weight? Oh, like every year for the last 10 years. I'd make some progress, but then stop trying and just gain it back. January 1 holds no special voodoo. It was some November day in 2007 that I was ready to commit to that promise. And 13 months later, I've dropped 37 pounds and am wearing a size I haven't been able to fit in for a decade. I still have a ways to go and I did fall off the wagon a bit during the holidays. I will get back on the right path, but not because it's a new year. Because I'm ready.

I do love New Year's Day, though. While it's not a resolution, for some reason, January 1 always seems to get me into cleaning up things and getting back on track. Thumper helped inspire me this morning. With the UCKY laundry to do and new clothes to put away, it seemed like the right time to pack away garments that don't fit him and get his room organized. He was quite cooperative most of the morning.

After our morning nap and lunch, Thumper was very enthusiastic about a bike ride with MOMMA and DEDDY which included a stop at the park to play for a spell. This was helpful in getting me back on track with exercising regularly, which has fallen a bit by the wayside recently. And it was fun. I struggle with making time to have fun. So, thank you Thumper for helping me get back on track.

Oh, and did I mention I flossed last night?

Meme Answers You Don't Want to Read

I finished making our lunch, and the boy is STILL asleep, so I thought, hey, instead of earning money and trying to finish the project that was due, um, three days ago, I'll read some blogs! And I discovered that I got memed. And since the boy's STILL asleep, OK, sure, why not.

Mr. Lady of Whisky In My Sippy Cup wants me to reveal Seven Random Things About Me:

1. I only have one testicle. Yep. That's right, I said it. I used to be horribly embarrassed by this. I fretted at urinals, like anybody's ever examined another man's testicles at the urinal. I was certain, absolutely certain, the first time I ever did the deed with Aerie, that she was horrified. In truth, she hadn't even noticed. I was born with only one. The other one is apparently "undescended," but exploratory surgery when I was eight never revealed it. The doctor at the time, when asked if it would hinder my fertility, said, "He'll only be able to have fifteen kids." For years, I was blind to his attempt at humor and was sure that the answer had been "Yes." Now, though I probably wouldn't tell somebody face to face ("Hi, nice to meet you. I only have one testicle!") I figure, why be mortified? It's just a thing about me, like any other thing. And clearly, I'm man enough to knock a chick up. I thought that I recalled, and then verified with some independent reading, that it also made me higher risk for testicular cancer, particularly in my late teens and early twenties. Consequently, I became absolutely certain around the age of 21 or 22 that I had testicular cancer. I was so sure, I even went to a doctor. This is rare for me now, but almost unheard of for me in my younger days. The as-yet-unbetrothed-to-me Aerie even accompanied me. I think I even made her feel my imagined lump. Is it not amazing that she's still with me? I mean, seriously, I don't know how I got so lucky. But anyway, standing in the doctor's office, my drawers around my knees, I got fondled and then told that no, that wasn't a lump that was just bits of plumbing and whatnot that was supposed to be there. I've never been so happy to feel like a complete idiot in my life.

2. Oh. Crap. I kind of shot my wad on that first one, if you know what I'm sayin'. Uh, I thought I was just kinda going to shoot some answers out there, and I'm already stumped. Hmm. Well, frankly, I think my one should count as at least seven, since how many of the men you know would ever tell the world they's got half the inventory of balls they's supposedta?

The boy's stirrin'. Time for lunch!

Fantasy Band

suttonhoo wants to know what 5 musicians I'd want in my dream jam session. The two times I participated in Fantasy Football, I got my ass kicked, so I hope I fare better at Fantasy Band. But my bassist will probably do me like Terrell Owens and get suspended halfway through the season. Bastard.

Anyway, I smart-assed my way through my Twitter response, as I'm wont to do. I gave her this little gem:

Is it me or is the band getting bigger?
Okay.
On trumpet, Peter O'Toole! (just having a little rest between bars...)
On drums.....The Pope!
On baseline, Martina Nav, Nav... She should get married...
And on mic, the lovely....Cher!

Of course, everyone knows that's Max Headroom doing guest vocals on the 12" single of the Art of Noise's "Paranoimia." It's on the blue version of The Best of The Art of Noise. I think it's also on the pink version, but who cares? Screw the pink version. I mean, leaving off "Moments in Love" is a travesty. That's some bullshit right there. The pink version doesn't deserve to lick the blue version's boots.

Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh, yeah. My Fantasy Band. Well, OK, I'll pick my players, but I'm not tracking it through the season. It causes me too much stress, watching the stats and making substitutions, then finding out I should've kept my original musician because as soon as I bench him, he has a breakout session and... Ah, well. I'm bitter. Let's move on.

First, on bass: Flea. Or maybe John Norwood Fischer. Yes, definitely Fischer. He's slightly more obscure, and therefore cooler.

Next, on guitar, either David Gilmour, or the dude from Rage Against the Machine whose name I can't remember. They both have unmistakable styles that, even when they're playing on crappy solo projects or with that god-awful Chris Cornell, you can still tell it's them. No doubt. I guess I'll go with the Rage Against the Machine dude. He rocks out harder.

On drums, I guess it'd have to be Keith Moon. Or John Bonham. Probably John Bonham. Everybody knows the drummer is the coolest guy in the band, so you definitely need either the one who OD'd on the drug he was taking to help curtail his drinking or the one who drowned in his own boozy vomit. There's nothing cooler than a belligerent alcoholic.

On keyboards, either one of those Norwegian dudes from Röyksopp, because Melody A.M. is so cool, I don't even mind that "Remind Me" is a Geico caveman commercial.

For vocals, I'm not sure. I'm thinking M. Doughty, back before he became Mike Doughty, but I think it's just because he's been on my mind lately. Maybe James Hetfield. Maybe I'm torn between these two because I like singers who throw an extra syllable at the end of as many words as possible. I don't know. I'll get back to you on that one.