Self-Improvement Project '08-'09: Six-Month Checkup

So it's been a little over six months since I decided to use my blog to make some changes to my life. It's seems like a good time to revisit those goals and see how I'm doing. I lost 13 pounds, but I've plateaued and haven't lost anything at all the past several weeks. In fact, I think it's safe to say that all or almost all of my weight loss occurred while I was following the precepts of the Weight Watchers Flex Plan. I don't think I'll go back to it, though, because it's clearly not a lifestyle change that I can maintain. I hated the counting and calculating all the time. I need to find other ways to apply principals of portion control to my diet. I've been focusing on caloric output since I dropped the Weight Watchers; now it's time for me to focus on caloric input, too.

Goal #1: Exercise for 45 minutes per day, three days or more per week.

This one's gone pretty well, I think. I've even upped it to four days or more per week, and I think I can truthfully say I meet this goal on a regular basis. Not every week, but most. I think this is a lifestyle change than I can actually maintain.

Goal #2: Drink two days per week or less.

Uh, well, that one I pretty much abandoned early on. I think I'm ready to revisit the alcohol issue. It's a large portion of my caloric input problem. I'm not sure what my new goal will be yet, though. The 2 days per week thing didn't work very well. Maybe I need to be more specific.

Goal #3: Watch TV for two hours or less per day.

Doing well on this one, I think. We've got an hours-long backlog of recorded Lost and 24 to catch up on, so we must be doing well. I have to admit, I've got an embarrassing Biggest Loser habit, though.

Goal #4: Finish one book every two weeks.

I think I've only achieved this goal once, excepting the Twilight series, which is just too fluffy to really count. But I'm happy with what I've done. I've definitely been reading much more, and that's the spirit of the goal, even if I haven't exactly lived up to the letter of the goal.

Goal #5: Stop being snarky about other people.

Again, I think this one's mostly a success. Aerie and I still sit and snark about some folks now and then, but some of the people I was snarky about are no longer in my life, which is a relief. I thought this might help me transform into a more positive person, but I think the changes in my political thought and my future volunteering and the like will do more for me in that regard. I may never be the kind and loving hippie I should be, but I can approach it if I try.

Embryo

I saw this on Living in a Girl's World, and it sounded like fun:

1. Put your MP3/Ipod player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer (questions below)
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS (option to put the name of artist in brackets next to it)
4. Tag at least 10 friends who might enjoy doing the game as well as the person you got the note from.


WHAT’S THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
“A Pillow of Winds” - Pink Floyd, Meddle [I could think of a few things better, like a pillow of boobs, and I didn't even have to think that hard...]

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
“It's Not Right (Simmons and Christopher Dub Mix)” - Dennis Christopher, Tekno 42

WHAT WILL OPRAH’S NEXT SHOW BE CALLED?
“Deception” - Blackalicious, Nia [I could see that...]

WHAT WILL OBAMA’S FIRST EXECUTIVE ORDER BE?
“Here It Comes” - Doves, Lost Souls ["Yeah, baby! Here it comes! It's that transparency in government stuff I've been talking about!"]

IF SOMEONE SAYS “FUCK YOU!” YOU SAY:
“Pig” - Seether, Disclaimer [appropriate enough]

IF YOU COULD SAY ONE THING TO THE PERSON YOU LOVE, IT WOULD BE?
“Might” - Modest Mouse, This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About ["I might, and you might, but neither of us do, and neither of us will." That ain't very romantic...]

IF YOU COULD SAY ONE THING TO THE PERSON YOU HATE IT WOULD BE?
“This Is the Day” - The The [You know, it really pisses me off that I think of M&M's whenever I hear this now...]

WHAT WOULD YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY BE CALLED?
"The Shining (Minotaur Shock Mix)” - Badly Drawn Boy, Paul Oakenfold's Perfecto Chills Vol. 3 [Redrum! Redrum!]

WHAT IS LOVE?
“Detroit Rock City” - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, 20th Century Masters, The Mille [Well that just doesn't make any sense at all...]

WHAT IS HATE?
“It's Raining Men” - The Weather Girls [I'm not gay. I promise. At least, I'm pretty sure.]

WHAT IS YOUR BEST TRAIT?
“Quiet Houses” - Fleet Foxes, Fleet Foxes

WHAT IS YOUR WORST TRAIT?
“Jingle Bells” - Frank Sinatra

WHERE WILL YOU BE IN FIVE YEARS TIME?
“A Higher Place” - Royksopp, Melody AM [Oh crap, I'm going to be dead in five years...]

HOW DO YOUR FRIENDS DESCRIBE YOU?
“Supreme People” - Blackalicious, The Craft [Well, I seriously doubt anybody's calling me "supreme."]

WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR YOU?
“Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast” - Pink Floyd, Atom Heart Mother [Sounds good. I wonder if Alan's got a diner in town...]

WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
“1985” - Bowling for Soup [You know, I could almost see him shaking his ass on the hood of Whitesnake's car...]

WHAT DO YOU WISH YOUR LOVER WOULD WHISPER IN YOUR EAR?
“Notorious” - Duran Duran [No, no, no... This was supposed to come out "Gigantic" by the Pixies...]

WHAT WILL SAVE THE WORLD?
“Nives Remix” - Orlanda, Karma Lounge [Karma, baby!]

WHAT IS SEXY?
“Lesson 13” - Pimsleur, Spanish 01 [Actually, it ain't that sexy. Though I think Carlos might be hitting on Maria. I'm not sure; I don't really understand Spanish. I never made it past Lesson 2...]

WHAT IS FUNNY?
“The Salmon Dance” - The Chemical Brothers, We Are the Night [Actually, this is pretty funny...]

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST STRENGTH?
“Situation” - Rancid, Rancid

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST WEAKNESS?
“Down to Earth” - Jem, Down to Earth

WHAT DO YOU DREAM ABOUT?
“Mainstream” - OutKast, ATLiens [Maybe I've had dreams like this. I don't know. I can't understand anything they're saying, but I do love it so...]

WHAT GIVES YOU NIGHTMARES?
“Lizard (Paul Oakenfold 2004 Remix)” - Mauro Picotto, Paul Oakenfold's Creamfields [I ain't scared of no lizards...]

WILL YOU EVER FIND ‘THE ONE’?
“Cowboy Coffee” - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, More Noise & Other Disturbances [If Cowboy Coffee is cheaper than Starbucks Coffee, then maybe it is the one...]

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?
“Thank You” - Michael Franti & Spearhead, Stay Human [Actually, "Rock the Nation" makes me happier...]

WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?
“The Death and Resurrection Show” - Killing Joke, Killing Joke [I never heard of Killing Joke. How the hell did this get on my iPod?]

WHAT’S THE STUPIDEST THING IN THE WORLD?
“Ballroom Blitz” - The Misfits [that "All right, fellas, let's go!" thing IS kinda stupid...]

WHAT DO PEOPLE LOVE ABOUT YOU?
“Woo Hah” - Busta Rhymes ["Throw your hands up in the air; don't ever disrespect. I got you all in check."]

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
“Embryo” - Pink Floyd, Works [Well, OK, but my mother might think at first glance that Aerie's pregnant...]

Cranky

I am enjoying a week of horrible, debilitating back pain. I can barely move. It's great. Perhaps not coincidentally, Thumper's going through a whiny, clingy period where he wants to be picked up and carried around a lot.

Hoisting him into and out of the car seat and laying him down in his crib are the worst. He's beginning to imitate the sounds I make. Would anybody like to buy me one of these? I'd appreciate it. And yesterday's afternoon of climbing, crawling, ducking, sliding, swinging, and yes, more hoisting at Zilker Park didn't improve things much, so would anybody like to come over and play with the boy while I sit as still as possible and moan and read a decreasingly pleasurable series of books?

You know, it's funny, but it turns out that pain does NOT actually increase my levels of patience and tolerance. So more yelling this week. I'm sorry, Thumper. If you do your best stop touching that, stop stealing that, stop throwing that, stop jumping on that, and stop loudly demanding that, I'll do my best to stop yelling those curse words at you.

I Don't Think He Can Pronounce Hussein, Though

I seriously did not teach him this. To the best of my knowledge, Aerie did not teach him this.

The boy says, "Ooooooooooh, Bama!" He's been saying it for months, since before the election. Sometimes he'll repeat it if we've been talking about Obama, but often he says it without context, with no Obama references in conversation or on TV. Out of nowhere, he just says, "Ooooooooooh, Bama!"

Mungo has convinced herself that she taught him to say, "Oh, bummer!" in her heavy South Boston accent. She tells people the story of us being in the car, and her saying, "Oh, bummer!" about some such or other, and him repeating it. But I was in the car. And I remember quite clearly telling her that he'd been saying "Obama," and that I wasn't sure where he picked it up. Probably from the TV (pronounced "TB" in Thumperish). And she said, "It sounds like he's saying 'Oh, bummer!'"

But it ain't "Oh, bummer." It's "Obama." I've never made a big deal about it with him. I've never pointed out Obama on TV and made him say it. As far as I knew, it was just a word he picked out of the ether without having any clue what that word signified.

Until today.

While we were waiting for our car to be serviced, he was getting restless. We played in the playroom, and he was bored with that. We'd wandered around and flirted with the staff, and he was bored with that. He was busying himself climbing into and out of and into again one of the waiting room chairs. I handed him a special inauguration insert from the local paper. I pointed to the picture on the front and asked him, "Who's that?"

"Obama!"

I'm telling you, that boy's a genius.

And that's all I have to say about the inauguration. I could say that I recorded Obama's speech, thinking that I'd show it to Thumper some day. What day, I don't know. But someday. I could talk about getting chills. And getting choked up. And wanting to think this was a new beginning, a new day. But I can't say it right. And it's all been said already. And I don't want to talk about the doubt that comes right behind the hope. So instead, I'll just say it like the boy does:

Obama!

Lazy Bloggin'

Bangin' on the Bongos Like a Chimpanzee:









The Bike:

Thumper's cousins got him a trike for Christmas. Last Christmas, when he was 4 months old. We decided to try it out yesterday. It's a really cool trike. He's still got some growing into it to do, though.

You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

I scared a child, and it made me walk around the rest of the night with a dopey grin on my face. I like scaring children.

A group of five kids, ages ranging from probably 8 to probably 12, were sitting close to courtside without apparent adult accompaniment. All five were standing in the aisle as close to the court as they could get. And they weren't moving on. We give you the benefit of the doubt. We let you have a minute. You set up camp, though, and action must be taken!

So I walked down and asked them to return to their seats. They did. As soon as I walked back up, they were in the aisle again. I walked down and told them to return to their seats. They did. As soon as I walked back up, they were in the aisle again. I walked down and told them to return to their seats. They did.

By the time I walked back up, another usher had come over from another position to work that section. I told him about the kids, and as I was pointing them out to him (his eyesight wasn't that great), the oldest kid turned and looked up at me. She saw me pointing at them and discussing them with the other usher. He still wasn't sure who I was talking about, so I smiled and waved at her, and she tentatively waved back.

"There, you see her waving? That's them. Just keep an eye on them. They've been standing in the aisle."

The next time her younger siblings jumped up into the aisle, she wrangled them back into their seats. Then she ran up the stairs to where the other usher and I were standing and said, "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"That's OK," I said.

"About before. When we were standing."

"You don't have to apologize."

"It's my brothers. I won't let them do it again."

"We just need to keep the aisles clear."

"OK, we will."

"Thanks!"

And for the rest of the half, she always knew exactly where I was. She kept an eye on me. And on her brothers. I moved from section to section, trying to look like I was supervising. But whenever I looked back in their direction, she had her eye on me. And whenever her brothers jumped up to dance in the aisles during timeouts trying to get the cameraman to put them on the scoreboard video screen, she always had them sitting nicely in their seats by the time the action resumed.

She was waiting for me to bring the hammer down.

And it made me glad.

'Nough Said