Monday, May 21, 2007

Paving the Way II: Give Me a Gift, You Cheap Bastard

We've been getting some pressure lately, mostly from one of the Once and Future Grandmas, to make a gift registry for the baby shower. This is apparently serious business that must not be postponed.

There's something disconcerting to me, and to Mrs. Rodius, about telling people what gifts to give us. "Mom, I think you should buy us a rocking chair. And you should spend $300. Maybe more, we haven't decided yet." Seems a little, I don't know, awkward. I know, she offered. Both of the Grandmas have said they want to buy us Something, and preferably one of the Bigger Somethings. Even so, telling them what the Somethings will be, and how much the Somethings will cost, feels a little presumptuous.

A co-worker with four kids gave me this advice: "Be thorough, and be specific." He said he felt awkward, too, for the first kid. But by the time the fourth came along, they were asking for everything, specifying colors and sizes, and registering so they wouldn't get duplicates. It all sounds so mercenary.

We've been very generously offered a crib, changing table, and dresser, as well as what sounded like many cubic yards of clothes, from Mrs. Rodius' brother and his wife. The nephew is ready to graduate to the Big Boy Bed, and we're grateful to give the furniture a new home. So with the furniture, and the rocking chair and stroller/carrier/car seat "Travel System" that the Grandmas are very kindly giving us (or else!), I don't know what to put on the registry. Not that there aren't lots of helpful suggestions at Babies 'R' Us. But my God, surely you don't need that much equipment to raise a baby! They're just little people; how could they need all that stuff?

I'm getting better at it, though. $30 for a thermometer? I wouldn't pay that! But hey, I'm still not, so on it goes! What else you got?

But you, you should definitely buy us diapers. Cloth diapers, though. I don't want you thinking you can get away with a bag of disposables, like that's going to cover it. Our friendship is definitely worth cloth. You can get us a couple of 12-packs of one-sizers for around $400. That should do it. But remember, I've got my eye on you, you cheap bastard.

1 comment:

anniemcq said...

I laughed out loud at this. When we had our first (and only) child, my parents were no longer with us, but my husband's parents, oh, they were THERE. Just like you, it felt so odd for me to be telling them what we needed (everything).

How much stuff can a little person use? I'll tell you - ALOT. But not as much as the registry sales person at BabiesRUs will try to tell you you need. The first time I went into BabiesRUs with a knowledgeable mom friend, I thought I'd pass out from hyperventilating.

Definitely get the good thermometer. It will be used a lot. Not that your baby will get sick a lot, but when you need it, it's important to have one that is easy to use and accurate.
Definitely get "What to Expect The First Year", and then go to the office supply store and get those little page marker sticky notes. You will use them all.
Definitely get something called Gripewater. I love that name. It's made from extract of fennel and soothes everything from gas to teething. It was a miracle.
Definitely get your wife some of those cooling gel nursing pads for her sure to be sore nipples.
And last, but not least, Definitely let everyone around you do as much as they can to help you out. Financially, with the stuff, even if it seems mercenary, and also just emotional support. It might seem weird, and at times even a bit invasive. But over time you'll realize how much it means to THEM to be involved in your babies life. That is a gift to them and to your baby.
I promise.

Related Posts with Thumbnails