I know, when compared to deaths in the family, or kids with much bigger obstacles in their way, my troubles are pretty tiny. I've been trying not to write about it, because who wants to hear a guy whine about his baby all the time? But since it's all I'm thinking about, if I don't write about that, then I don't write about anything.
Is a four-month-old baby supposed to have this strong a will? He will NOT put up with this tummy time business. He will NOT put up with this silly self-soothing experiment. He has scabs on his face from rending his flesh. If he had teeth, he'd gnash them. And I probably shouldn't tell you all this when there are social workers in the audience, but yesterday, when moments before he couldn't keep his eyes open long enough to finish his bottle, within minutes of me reading him a book and laying him gently in his crib, he screamed so hard that now he has a blood spot in his right eye. He definitely his mother's boy. She didn't do it by screaming, but I've twice seen her, the morning after violent bouts of vomiting, looking like she'd been strangled, both eyes filled with blood. I haven't strangled the boy, I swear. Please don't take him away. But if you do, could you teach him to put himself to sleep before you give him back? And maybe to crawl? Thanks!
Oh, and four naps a day? Does that seem excessive to anyone else? The books say two, but he was taking four when I'd let him sleep on me, and he gets cranky and rubs his eyes, so he wants sleep, right? Until I put him down. So maybe I should work towards two? But he still acts like he wants to sleep every hour and a half to two hours. I tried to keep him up this morning through nap #1 so that maybe he'd sleep in the crib more easily for nap #2, but he actually fell asleep after five minutes of crying when I put him in the playpen for tummy time. I guess that means crib naps should be on the tummy, too, since it wears him out faster. When does he start speaking English, so we can discuss this?
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6 comments:
Well, first, life's relative. There's nothing like going from working with cancer patients and feeling so miniscule and humbled, and then yelling at my 3 kids for brawling over the remote control and cursing my lot in life...in the span of 90 minutes.
So, really, cut yourself some slack on the whining about the baby front. It's your life, it's your blog, and you're entitled!
As for Thumper's tenacious determination to rail at the world, well...it sounds like you've got a social worker in the making!! Start giving him a little social justice indoctrination and he'll use that fist waving against the Man. And if you're lucky, it's not Dad.
I don't know about "normal", but I would let the kid sleep whenever he's tired! Maybe you're not being permissive enough? Maybe start with JUST tummy time or just self-soothing, and then continue from there? Obviously, since I have no small people, I'm not an expert. I'm not even a novice! But the boy's obviously willing to blow a blood vessel! PS: Ew.
Maybe you have a died-in-the-wool control freak (a tiny bit like his grandma?) who at this time in his life has no control over anything. Except possibly YOU. I think you will see a very pleasant difference once your boy masters grasping, rolling, and sitting. Hang on, it won't be long now. That's not to say this volatile energy won't always be part of his personality, however, so be prepared for a very bright boy who will challenge you every day just to stay one step ahead. Enjoy!
Love,
Mom
I used to store up errands to run in the car in the early afternoon, just in case my babies had fought a nap all morning when they clearly needed them.
Once they got into that comfy bucket car seat and the car got moving, they were out.
Our bucket snapped on to the stroller, so moving them from car to store was accomplished without waking them. I would pack a bottle and a diaper, just in case, but usually they slept and I got some things done and some exercise at the grocery store or the mall.
Don't worry so much - it is normal for him to get into a routine for a few days or weeks, and then it changes. You will just learn to roll with the punches!
It made me laugh out loud when you said "when does he start speaking", because that will ease HIS frustration, but not necessarily yours! If it makes you feel any better, I was a complete wreck when JH was a baby, and I worried about everything. I wish I could go back and tell myself to calm down, but I wouldn't do it anyway. This worry and wondering is part of your journey with your child - it's the beginning of your communication, and although crying and screaming is not exactly our favorite method as adults, as babies it's the most effective thing they have in their fairly limited little tool boxes. I wish you an easier days. When JH was at the four month mark, I would walk up to complete strangers in the grocery store and ask them when it got easier. It will, it does. Promise.
I do believe this is genetic. His cousin, J, was a most difficult infant. He screamed himself to sleep most nights, had furious fits when he couldn't control his body and got so frustrated when I didn't understand what he wanted when he wanted it. He became so mad one time he lost control of his arm movemets and repeatedly punched himself in the eye and burst a blood vessel, which you can still almost 16 years later.
It does get better when he learns to speak. J hated being in a baby's body, hated having others control his movements and choices. He is a much better human now that he controls his own destiny.
It does get better Daddy, just give it time!
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