A Few Things

1. "Hey, look! A long blog entry! He must have gone back to work..."
Yes, I have. Today is my first day back after 8 weeks out on FMLA sick leave. I'll be giving three weeks notice today. After that, Mrs. Rodius will be going back to work full-time, and I can finally get a proper start on this whole Stay-At-Home Dad project. I'm a little nervous about resigning today; I'm afraid they'll accuse me of underhandedness in taking FMLA when I knew I was going to quit anyway. Is that underhanded? There's nothing I read in the policy that said I had to commit to any period of work after returning from leave. But still, it feels a little sneaky.

2. Thumper will be 8 weeks old tomorrow. He had his two-month appointment this morning, and boy was he surprised when we just stood there and let that lady stick him with needles. Twice. On each leg. He's growing well, and I'm beginning to think all of that colic and reflux and food allergy stuff was just a doctor giving a diagnosis to parents that expected one. I think it may all just be normal newborn digestive difficulties and first-time parents' jitters. We're getting more used to him and his patterns, but with me at work and Mrs. Rodius home alone with him for the next three weeks, we're going to start working harder at getting him into a bedtime pattern. I think Mrs. Rodius is nervous about how these three weeks are going to go.

3. I got to go to the Texas-Rice game with Big Brother on Saturday, and we spent most of the third quarter in the beer tent talking. I hadn't realized how much I needed to talk to someone until I was doing it. It was great to normalize this whole long, weird experience. I really need to interact more with people with kids. I guess when Thumper and I start going to playgrounds and... uh... wherever else it is that parents become acquainted with each other, it'll begin to happen anyway, but friends with kids would be a good thing. Except people with kids are too freakin' busy to socialize anyway. That's whatchacall one of themthere catch 22's.

4. I've been listening to Joseph Heller's Catch 22 as an audiobook whenever I've been in the car the past couple of weeks. There are a few glaring gaps in my literary canon (for instance, I've never read Wuthering Heights, either), and I thought Catch 22 would be a good one to check off the list. I think I would have loved that book when I was 17; it's so chock-full of clever turns of phrase and brilliant comic moments, the reader barely has time to fully digest one before he trips over another. But in my old age, I just find it kind of annoying. There's no story there, and no meaning that I can find. Maybe I need to read the Wikipedia entry. I'm glad to finally know what Catch 22 is, though (it's a rule for the pilots in the story that says if they're crazy, they can be excused from combat missions, but only if they ask. But asking is an act of self-preservation that proves they're not crazy, preventing them from being excused from combat missions. If they're crazy, they have to ask, but if they ask, they're not crazy.) As I listened to the book, I was reminded of Chuck Palahniuk's Fight Club, in which the narrator tells Tyler Durden his concept of single-serving friendships with his fellow passengers on his many business flights. Tyler calls this clever then asks him how that's working out for him, being clever. It's sort of a deflating moment for the narrator. Cleverness without meaning isn't really that much of a virtue. So I think I might follow defective yeti's philosophy (at least I think it was his; maybe I'm misattributing it) on books: give it through the first 100 pages, and if it's not working for you, move on. Life's too short to be spent suffering through books that don't click with you.

5. The first person I saw today upon returning to work was the security guard at the back door who said, "Welcome back. You know what happened to you? You gained weight!" And then laughed loud and long as I walked away. It was kind of him to notice. I haven't worked out in, oh, I don't know. Three months, now? And I've been doing a lot of sitting in my recliner watching TV, with a baby eating, sleeping, crying, and vomiting on me. And I've been eating a lot, at all hours of the day and night. So, time to get back to work. I'm thinking I'm going to start over on the run-walk program, and follow the ChiRunning a little more closely. I was keeping the form, but I wasn't doing the warm-up loosening exercises. So hopefully I can work that in three times a week, and finally get to the yoga, too. I'm sure it would help my back problems. Maybe I can fit that in twice a week. I don't know. Maybe I'm setting my goals too high. Maybe I should just try to get in one week of walking three times, then see what I can do. Anybody got a jogging stroller they want to get rid of cheap?

6. "Good God, man, you've been out for 8 weeks. Don't you have some work to do besides writing an obnoxiously long blog entry about nothing?"
Eh, yes, I suppose. As I may have mentioned, I'm underutilized here. They've gotten along without me for 8 weeks, and I'm sure I was barely missed. I could work on a few things, I guess. Oh, yeah! My resignation letter. I better get crackin'...