Thursday, May 8, 2008

Playdating Is Just Like Real Dating

I almost had one! It was going great, then I blew it. I scared her off.

At the playground today, a promising pair showed up. Little Tessa was adorable, and seemed somewhere around the same age as Thumper. At first, we acted cool. We pretended we hadn't seen them. Then Thumper casually worked his way over in their direction. I followed a minute or so later, you know, to make sure he was OK. Once Tessa's mommy had seen Thumper's big eyes, he was in. He started working all his flirts. He even hit her with the new skill he picked up this week: the wave. He started with the full-arm wave until the mommy was gushing and trying to get Tessa to wave back. Then he hit her with the supercute hand wave, opening and closing his hand with the fingers straight. He even had it pointed in the right direction. She was hooked.

She asked me how old he was. I reciprocated. She told me how cute he was. I reciprocated. She said she had been looking for a place like this, baby friendly, and was hoping that there would be other babies like Thumper who were Tessa's age. I said we came there for the same reason, because Thumper doesn't get much interaction with other babies.

I waited. We chatted some more. The vibe seemed friendly. I made sure to mention my wife a few times so she'd know that I was safe. When the moment seemed right, I said, "So would Tessa be interested in some playdates? Sometime?" Oh! I blew it! I should have said "playdate," singular. She backed off. She was wary. "Oh, I, uh... I'm just so busy right now, it's hard for me to commit to anything." The kids played a little more. Tessa's mommy was a little more subdued. Soon, they got up to leave. I was friendly, but didn't mention playdates again. She asked me if we come there often, and around what time. I told her usually we go there right after lunch, around 12 or 12:30. Maybe she was asking so she could be sure to avoid us in the future. Maybe not. She said she hoped she'd see us there again sometime.

Sorry, buddy. With me in charge of your playdating life, you're on shaky ground. I haven't been in a position to date for sixteen years, and I never really did it when I was in the position. If it wasn't for your Mama getting the job done, I'd still be mumbling and fumbling and waiting for the right moment to ask her out. Maybe next time I'll let you work the mommy a little longer. You've got far more charm than I do.


Anonymous said...

What a great laugh. Your storytelling ability is top notch!

suttonhoo said...

*this* is a heartbreaking work of staggering genius.

forget that other bullshit.

(and forgive yourself for all that TV.)

I, Rodius said...

Well, thanks! I think we might give it another go today.

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