Saturday, June 21, 2008

Flickin' Cliche

"Although women routinely operate extremely sophisticated pieces of domestic technology (such as microwave ovens, washing and sewing machines), British researcher Ann Gray has discovered that many women feel alienated from operating the family's VCR."

This golden nugget comes from a fairly old analysis of gender roles in the age of the remote control.

We're on "universal" remote number-I-can't-remember-what. Oh, The Man had such high hopes for this one...it came with software and you use the computer to program it special!! I told him I'd believe it when I saw it. We've been through numerous universal remotes over the years and there ain't been a one that was truly universal. This one just might be, but The Man ain't got it quite right yet. The bigger problem? It takes me MONTHS to figure out how to operate the damned things!

The Man is working until midnight. Thumper, still struck by a fever of unknown origin and exhausted from bitching at his Mama all night long, is finally asleep. I thought I might watch some dumb television and unwind. The television is on, but the surround sound is echoing to a degree that turns my stomach. The television, normally synched with the DVD player, is acting of its own accord. I have to keep switching between the two devices every time I change the channel or I am otherwise watching one channel and listening to another. It works when The Man is home. WTF????

I like to consider myself fairly savvy when it comes to technology. Shoot - I am the Designated Division Geek at my job. My "performance development plan" actually states that 20% of my job is based on my role as the "subject matter expert" on the company's computer systems, and I am tasked with advancing our data mining efforts and assisting the technologically challenged members of my division. I know enough SQL to be dangerous and yet I can't figure out how to set the damned DVD player to record a show. WTF????

It must be a penis thing. It has to be a penis thing. Or maybe The Man is just @#$%ing with me? Surely he's @#$%ed with the remote before leaving for work to ensure I don't become completely independent.

Sweetheart - I'll always keep you around. How else am I gonna reach the stuff on the top shelf of the cabinet??

4 comments:

I, Rodius said...

It's simple. I haven't got the one-touch macro buttons working quite right yet, so you just have to hit:
More--Component TV--Power--More--Component Receiver--Power--More--Component--DVD--Power. Never hit the volume or channel buttons while Component is set to TV; it'll mess you all up. If the Receiver input is not already set to DVD/BD because I was listening to the radio or the iPod, then get up and walk over to the Receiver and turn the input knob to DVD/BD. Then hit More--Component Mixed. Now you can change the channels on the DVD and the volume on the Receiver with the same remote. If you want to watch a movie, hit Auto AFD until the appropriate sound setting for the movie come up, i.e. Dolby Pro Logic, Pro Logic II. Ours is a 5.1 channel system. If you're watching TV after the baby's gone to bed, you hit Movie until Multi ST appears. I don't know what that stands for, but it makes the surround sound speakers play the same thing as the right and left speakers, making it easier to hear at lower volumes. And oh yeah, the Auto AFD and Movie buttons are on the Receiver remote, not the new universal one, so since you need that remote too, you don't really have to get up to change the Receiver input from DMPORT to DVD/BD, you can do it with the remote.

See? Simple. Sheesh! Women...

Minivan Mom said...

First, love the new digs!

I consider myself a fairly competent woman, but have sadly not only always not had an affinity for the technological workings of tv/vcr/dvd things, but have grown MORE incompetent over the years thanks to my admitted reliance on the resident penis. I used to at least voraciously and tenaciously ATTEMPT to figure out and fix things...now I usually just throw the remote down, utter a few curses, and wait impatiently for the man to fix it.

How very cliche is right.

Aerie (aka Mrs. Rodius) said...

Minivan Mom: Resident penis? Ha ha. I'm going to have to borrow that one. No, not borrow YOURS. Wow, I don't think I've had that happen while typing a message...you know, that moment when you realize as the words are coming out of your mouth just how bad they're going to sound? *L* Of course I meant borrow the phrase. Anyhoo...

After this post and reprogramming the new miracle remote again, he still had to break out another remote for something or other. I don't know what. I give up!

anniemcq said...

We don't have a universal remote, but we have had crazy stuff happen with our tivo remote, to the point that I feel like someone is messing with me. I sympathize. But luckily it happens to both of the "resident penis'" ("resident peni?") around here too, so I know it isn't just me.

Oh, and Mr. Rodius. Your explanation was very helpful: my eyes rolled back in my head and I had a lovely snooze. Tech talk does that to me. Just ask my husband.

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