Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Oh, You Know, This and That

This morning I finally hit ten pounds lost since the boy was born. A pound a month isn't a great rate, but it's better than nothing. And better than gaining. I didn't, as I hoped, get to the point before summer arrived where I'm not self-conscious about taking off my shirt at the pool. Thumper loves the pools, as do Freckles and Robert McGee, so we'll be spending a lot of time at them this summer. I guess I have to keep trying, and also try to get to the point where I don't worry about what other people think. It's not like everybody else out there is a swimsuit model.

I gave Thumper his first haircut last night. It was hanging over his ears. The Mrs. and I periodically mentioned that we should do something about it, but it seemed like it would be hard to accomplish on a squirming infant, so we never followed through. I told her I could just buzz it all off like I do with my own, but she wasn't keen on that idea. So last night, I had a few drinks, took the sharp, steely, slicing implement in shaking fingers, and let fly. Just kidding; I only had one drink. I trimmed over his ears and straightened out his bangs where his widow's peak made them uneven. Actually, they're still uneven. It's hard to cut a squirming infant's hair. I kind of regret doing it now; I think I Delilahed his Samsony cuteness. He looks like he's moved a bit down the scale from babyish to boyish.

I haven't been blogging or twittering much. I've just kinda been laying low. I've been thinking a lot about the portions of What the Fuck Do We Know? that deal with shaping one's own reality and about how people repeat the same behaviors because they've established neural net patterns and they're addicted to the brain chemicals that result from those behaviors. I've also been playing a lot of Scarface. These two things don't exactly go together very well, but when I found out that the latest in my beloved Grand Theft Auto series, GTA IV will not be available on Playstation 2, and simultaneously realized that I have no interest in purchasing a PS3 or XBox, or Wii, or whatever else, I used the last trade-in credits that I was saving for GTA IV on the closest thing I could find: Scarface. Last night I folded some diapers, then killed the Diaz brothers with a chainsaw. After that, I folded some more diapers, then took over the coke warehouse. It's cathartic, but not very New Agey.

I thought I was going to blog about What the Fuck Do We Know?, but by now I think it's gone the way of the review I was going to write for The Time Traveler's Wife: by the time I got around to it, the moment had passed.

I also thought I was going to blog about what Now Me thinks of 1995 Me and the paper he wrote, but it turns out I don't have that much to say. It was a paper written five months before I was married and twelve years before I actually became a househusband. The part about the fear of being perceived as gay is a little stupid, but I guess the movement from "househusband" = "less manly," to "less manly" = "gay" makes sense in a way. I do feel awkward being the only dad sometimes, but I don't feel a loss of respect, but it is twelve years later, and I doubt that it could still be said that "[s]tatistically, few men enter into the role of househusband completely voluntarily." I get Tracey's thoughts on gender socialization and how I omitted any consideration of same-sex couples, but I think it was outside the scope of the paper since it focused on reversing gender roles in heterosexual couples that had previously embraced more traditional gender roles. I also think it's part of her template to be ever-vigilant for racism/sexism/homophobism. And in my opinion, her illustrative boy being raised by lesbians mothers is still likely be socialized toward traditional male gender roles by one or the other of those mothers anyway. At least, that's what my experience with lesbian couples leads me to believe. But perhaps that's homophobic to say. Still, I'm glad she read it and had something to say about it. Thanks, Tracey!

We'll be at the Brushy Creek Lake Park water playscape around 12:30 today. Stop by and say hello. It's a good time.


Minivan Mom said...

"I also think it's part of her template to be ever-vigilant for racism/sexism/homophobism."

Heh. I take that as a compliment and so I thank you kind sir.

"And in my opinion, her illustrative boy being raised by lesbians mothers is still likely be socialized toward traditional male gender roles by one or the other of those mothers anyway"

Hmmm...do you mean it as you typed it (that he IS still likely to be classically socialized) or did you leave out a "less" there? First, I think it's nearly impossible to prove either way, because there are so many influences on gender role development that it's difficult to pinpoint causation.

I personally think that even IF a male child is still "classically" gender role socialized by lesbian mothers, he is going to have a broader lens on the husband/father role. What I mean is, even if lesbian mothers (and it goes without saying that we are making gross sweeping generalizations here) still demonstrate a propensity for teaching the "protector/provider" role to their sons, he's, by default, growing up with a perspective that women need a man like a fish needs a bicycle. And I have to believe that will be invaluable when it comes to his dealings with his future wife/daughter. All the data that I have ever seen on children raised by gay and lesbian couples (and that's actually a lot since I did a research paper on it in the fall) point to adult children raised in these homes having "greater sensitivity to fluid gender roles when it comes to the family".

Nevertheless, I totally agree it was outside the scope of your 1995 paper.

Lisa L said...

This is going to be insanely devoid of intellect after Tracey's comment...but baby haircuts? I cut my boy's hair from day one till he left home..he preferred my cuts to the hairdresser's oddly enough. The solution with babies is cookies. With Matt, who was the ultimate wiggleworm, I would give him one cookie at a time as I snipped away. Sometimes we'd have a 'three cookie haircut'...on a more challanging day it might be a 'five cookie haircut'...it worked and that's what mattered.

I, Rodius said...

It was definitely a compliment, Tracey. Congratulations on the better job offer!

Thanks, Lisa. It's a good tip. He's only just recently been allowed to discover the joy of the Nilla Wafer, so we'll be prepared for the next haircut.

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