Local Politics Are Dirty Politics

And suddenly I want to sing, "Brown eggs are local eggs, and local eggs are fresh!" Maybe that's just a New England thing. I don't know. What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, local politics are dirty politics (and dirty politics are fresh!). Well, all politics are dirty politics, really. I've never been that politically active, and certainly not at the local level. Big Brother, for whom I have a long list of Reasons I Know He's Completely Nuts, has this one near the top of the list: he likes to watch Austin city council meetings on public access television. He swears they are fascinating. He says, and rightly so, that local political activity has more power to affect your daily life than national politics. But seriously, city council meetings, on public access? With low production quality? And not even a rockin' soundtrack? Can anybody out there think of a better cure for insomnia?

My first taste of involvement in local politics was attending Homeowners Association meetings in the Land of Loose Dogs, Five Vehicles Per Home, and Getting Braids in Your Front Yard While Drinking Forties with Your Shirt Off While Fast-Food Garbage Tumbleweeds Blow Forlornly Down the Street. It was a nightmare. The HOA Board was little more than a mini-politburo whose individual members had for twenty years or more used their positions to pay their relatives inflated amounts to fix the road right in front of their own townhouse unit while letting the rest of the community fall into disrepair. They filled in the pool with dirt and grew grass over it to save the maintenance costs. They allowed the insurance policy that covered the exterior of the units to lapse, without informing the homeowners, because it was too expensive, thereby leaving all of the homeowners in violation of the terms of their mortgages. There was no continuity of records, with board meeting minutes only going back a few months because somebody had lost the files. They failed to maintain the proper paper work with the Secretary of State, or the Comptroller of Public Accounts, or one of them, and a disgruntled resident stole their corporate name, forcing them to rename the HOA. It was kind of a farce. After showing enough interest to actually attend a few meetings and send a few "WTF?" emails when the insurance expired, I was approached by a few other residents to run for a seat on the board. I politely declined, and then ran for my life.

But now that I'm a homeowner with intentions of long-term residence, local politics are starting to look a little more interesting, though no less dirty. Now, instead of an HOA (or actually, in addition to an HOA), we're under the jurisdiction of a Municipal Utility District. That's an actual governmental entity, and not just a non-profit corporation, so maybe it's a little less farcical. They have an actual lawyer that attends their board meetings and keeps them from breaking parliamentary procedure and everything. It's real professional-like.

But you know what? It's really not any less farcical. There are still board members who've held their seats for over 20 years, revelling in the power of their mini-dictatorships and bristling at the suggestion of cooperative action. Residents still mumble and shake their heads when encouraged to attend board meetings, because in the past, they've been actively discouraged by board members from attending, treated with open hostility when they did attend, and some even claim that they've been harrassed through the powers of restrictive covenant enforcement and other petty torments by board members that they've opposed.

Fun, right?

So last night I attended a public hearing called by the neighboring city council. It was supposed to happen six weeks ago, but the city didn't post public notice of the hearing properly and had to reschedule. The hearing is on an issue to which the district board is vehemently opposed, though they have shown no interest in explaining their objections to residents. Another resident and I met with an engineer who works for the city, so I've heard their side of the story. I was hoping the public hearing might fill in the gaps on the district board's side of the story. But when I arrived at the supposed appointed hour, I found out it had happened an hour earlier, and the city council had voted to proceed before any residents had shown up for the public discussion portion.

So what I got instead was a district board member holding court in the parking lot, whipping a contingent of residents into a frenzy against the city, while still paying lip-service to the fact she's not supposed to discuss these matters outside of board meetings with a quorum of board members present. Inside, the city engineer was holding court, whipping a contingent of residents into a frenzy against the board. And both sides were finger-pointing as to who had the wrong time and why. The city says they properly posted public notice with the correct time. The district board says the city underhandedly changed it and violated the public notice requirements again. The city says the board purposefully distributed information to the residents with the incorrect time because they don't want residents to hear the city's side of the story.

Fun, right?

So am I going to run for a seat on the board? Let's see: an uncompensated, volunteer position, to which one must devote a large amount of time and effort, and for which no matter how hard you work for the good of the community, some subset of that community will still always believe you to be at least stupid, and certainly selfish if not outright corrupt, and always working solely for your own benefit? Um, let me get back to you on that.